This week, my wife and I sent our twin sons to university.

Since they are twins, they chose to study at different schools. One went to the West coast and the other to the East coast of the USA. The distance between is 6 hours by plane. So here is another test to pass for the parents. If learning never ends, then this step is one that brings along new feelings. And of course, it is the hardest for the mothers. But I see that this new beginning is one of the most important steps for young people as they become mature. So far, we always stood next to them and held their hands, and now we will keep holding them from the distance.

Learning never ends!

“Freedom begins by saying ‘no’!”

At the weekend I was in a mall, waiting in the cash queue. I saw a mother trying hard to convince her kid to eat. The kid, whose linguistic abilities had recently begun to develop, suddenly said “NO” in force. The reaction of the mother indicated that it was the first “no” of the child. Instantly, the kid shrank his lips (act of rebellion) and the mother’s jaw dropped (astonishment). In that moment, the relationship between the mother and the kid took a new dimension. I should say that it has been an interesting observation for me.

Martin Luther (1453-1546) said that every liberation begins by saying “no”. The liberation that begins with a “no” should be respected and cherished. In fact, this is not only about the relationship between parents and children. Let’s think about it a little: How do we react to “no” as an answer in our society and environment?

First, I have to say that, as a society, we usually perceive “no” as a danger.  However, for every individual who does not want to be tied to a single way of thinking and who is open to innovation and development, “no” requires a constructive approach. Being open to innovation is an innate trait. For this reason, one should be able to tolerate objections in hierarchical relations, friendships, and even love affairs. Fear of “no” as an answer can often leave an impression of a trust issue in those who feel inadequate in life and take shelter in their own worldview, ignoring the new.

As the French diplomat, resister, and writer Stéphane Hessel said, by approaching constructively to “no” as an answer, we can perform our primary task to design the future world no matter how complex it may be and we can let the “new” come to light.