Death is inevitable for all living things. It is strange that despite the inevitability, we must constantly remind ourselves of death. This includes everyone without exception. Regardless of power or position… Ancient philosophers said “memento mori” to those who forgot about this absolute truth. In other words, “remember death, remember that you are mortal…”

I was very impressed when I first read it. According to the historians, the victorious generals of wars in ancient Rome used to wear a crown often made of oak leaves, called corona civica, at the triumph parades in the streets of Rome. Over time, the use of this crown was restricted with emperors only. On this occasion, I learned that the crown of the well-known Roman Emperor Julius Caesar was a corona civica. At the ceremonies, one of the duties of the slaves holding this crown above the victorious and proud generals’ heads was whispering “memento mori” into the ears of the generals. Most probably, the same phrase was whispered into the ear of the future Roman Emperor, the proud and victorious Roman commander Caesar.

Who knows how often Caesar, who accomplished many achievements, conquests and reforms, recalled his death throughout this process. The Roman Republic, borders of which he expanded, became an Empire by the time of his death and continued to grow and expand. Today we travel around the Roman Empire’s memory and remnants spread over three continents.

It is possible to see many similar examples in business life. There is an increasing number of examples of initiatives that have been created with small investments that develop with the right timing and smart strategies, and even “grow prodigiously”. Those who have a share in this success also show up in the business world like a proud Roman general. Among all the applause and praise, it is not hard to be under the illusion that power and glory will last forever. And there is no one whispering them “Remember that you are mortal.”…

However, remembering death does not interfere with living the day. Rather, it reminds us that power, position and everything is transitory. With the hope that it becomes our lifelong instructor and guide: “Memento mori!”

Every Saturday morning I try to visit my mother for breakfast and for a talk. Last Saturday, she said that this morning her neighbor did not greet her the way she always did. She had her own perception of the reason why her neighbor acted that way. We discussed the issue and this conversation reminded me how easily we may cause misunderstandings in our relationships with our families, friends or colleagues. It wouldn’t be fair to say that pondering unnecessary and troublesome issues and making wrong comments in critical moments are not characteristics of the Turkish culture only. We humans in general have a tendency to believe that we can read people’s minds simply by looking at a facial expression or focusing on a word. I would like to share a relevant anecdote on this topic.
A long long time ago, I had the privilege to meet Paul Watzlawick in California Palo Alto, where I lived for 12 years. Paul’s advice on how to be unhappy gives the best (humorous) reflection of such moments of belief.

The story of the hammer:
A man wants to hang a painting on the wall. He has got nails, but no hammer. And his neighbor has got a hammer. So the man decides to borrow the neighbor’s hammer. Rethinking his decision, the man has some doubts: What if the neighbor does not want to lend the hammer? Just yesterday he seemed to be a little superficial in the way he greeted our man. Perhaps he was in a hurry. But perhaps he pretended that he was in a hurry. Perhaps he had negative feelings about our man. But why? Our man did nothing wrong to him. So our man is in delusion. If someone asked him to lend a tool, he would do it immediately. What wouldn’t his neighbor? How can anyone refuse such a simple request? Guys like him make one’s life miserable. And then they believe that you are just so much dependent on him. Now, our man has really lost his patience. In a fury, he goes to his neighbor’s apartment and knocks the door. Even before the neighbor finds the chance to say ‘Good morning’, our man yells at him: “Just keep the hammer, you vulgar, rude man!”